Dave spends most of
his time working, watching sports on TV, and playing computer games. Uncommunicative
and uninvolved, he seems to have lost interest in his family. He often has difficulty
sleeping or sleeps most of his non-working hours. His interest in lovemaking is
practically non-existent, and he has an increasing number of vague physical
complaints. Small matters upset him out of proportion to the seriousness of the
situation. He complains about his work and has difficulty getting along with
others. Pleasing him is nearly impossible and he is increasingly pessimistic. In
short, living with him is increasingly frustrating. Rather than being deliberately
difficult, he may be depressed.
Depression is often
considered a women’s disease, even by physicians and pharmaceutical companies.
Women are often pictured in those glossy drug company advertisements and physicians
are generally alert to the signs of depression in their female patients. The Diagnostic
and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association (the manual
that describes mental illnesses for purpose of diagnosis) describes depression as a complex of symptoms:
loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities; decreased sexual desire;
difficulty sleeping or over-sleeping; weight gain or loss when not seeking to
do so; increased agitation, anger, hostility or over-reacting; increased
pessimistic thinking and feelings of hopelessness; vague physical complaints in
the absence of identifiable illness; loss of energy; and feeing as of guilt and
thoughts of suicide.
While research
indicates that women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression as men,
one in six men will suffer from depression at some time in their lives, as compared
to one in four women. However, men often exhibit different symptoms than women.
Women are more likely to acknowledge and verbalize feelings of sadness and hopelessness.
Men are more likely to follow the pattern of adolescents and children,
experiencing increased irritability, agitation, withdrawal from others, loss of
energy, and physical complaints. This is especially true in more moderate
episodes of depression.
When we look at the
other symptoms of depression: markedly diminished interest and pleasure in
almost all activities, insomnia or over-sleeping, weight gain or loss when not
dieting, agitation or loss of energy, and difficulty concentrating, a picture
of male depression emerges.
If
you suspect a man in your life is depressed, convincing him to seek treatment
may be difficult. Many men see depression as a woman’s illness and a sign of weakness.
Suggestions that he see a psychiatrist or counselor may be met with angry
denial. However, you may be able to convince him to see a physician for his
lack of energy or other physical complaints. While one can not count on a physician
detecting depression in a man who is an expert at looking “okay,” if you have a
good relationship with his doctor you might inform the physician of your
observations and suspicions prior to the visit.
A supportive, non-accusatory
discussion may induce him to consider the possibility. Giving him information from
the Internet or even this article may convince him to seek help.
Fortunately, medicines
developed in the past few years can effectively treat depression. The newer
drugs are relatively free of side effects, and if side effects, especially
sexual side effects, develop a different medicine can be substituted. Research shows
that combining medication with counseling is the most effective treatment for
depression. The Employee Assistance Program at his place of work or a member of
the clergy may be more acceptable to him, but certainly there are many good counselors
and psychologists who can assist him.
Even if he refuses to
seek professional help, there is still hope for improvement and possible
recovery. Most depressive episodes are self-limited and some improvement is
likely even if he receives no treatment.
The
better news is that mild to moderate depression responds well to aerobic exercise.
Researchers at a number of different institutions indicate that exercise has
multiple benefits in helping manage depression. Indeed, up to 90% of research
participants report some relief from depression by following an exercise
regime. Research conducted at the Mayo Clinic
indicates that “exercise positively affects the levels of certain
mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain.” Some researchers believe that regular exercise
alters the levels of two neurotransmitters found in the brain, serotonin and
endorphins, leading to elevation of mood and easing of depression.
Furthermore, exercise
tends to promote better sleep, increased energy, and a sense of calm self-control,
as well as providing a distraction from cycles of pessimistic thinking. Since exercise
is generally done outside and with others, there is even a mood elevating benefit
from increased sunlight and decreased isolation.
Almost any enjoyable physical
activity may result in decreased depression. Walking, biking, jogging, swimming,
softball, and weight lifting, even dancing, yoga or Taekwondo, will likely reap
beneficial results. (Exercise with him. Living with someone who is depressed is
depressing and exercise may well help you as well.) The best news is that
research indicates that even 30 minutes a day three to five times a week is
helpful. Exercise “may not be the magic bullet, but increasing physical
activity is a positive and active strategy to help manage depression and
anxiety,” according to Mayo Clinic psychologist, Dr. Kristin Vickers –Douglas .
Combining appropriate
medication with counseling and increased activity often leads to dramatically
improved mood and functioning.
Depression
is one of the most successfully treated emotional illnesses, but failure to
treat it may result in more than living with a grumpy coach potato. While more
depressed women attempt suicide, depressed men are more likely to actually die
by suicide. So act and act forcefully. You may not only improve the life of a
man you love, but you might also save it.
For
more information check out the following websites:
www.
overcoming-depression.com/man-and-depression.html www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/MH00043
www.betterhealth.ic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Depression_andexercise
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